Poor Unfortunate Souls: The 5 Loneliest Disney Villains
Valentine’s Day can be tough for anyone who hasn’t found that special someone yet, or for anyone who doesn’t want to conform to the established V-Day festivities. In fact, Valentine’s Day can make you feel downright grumpy sometimes. Who understands that better than a Disney villain? No one!
Most Disney villains are portrayed as power-hungry, anti-social, or egotistical grumps. Still — when you get down to their true motives — they’re really just trying to be a part of the ”cool kids’” club or hoping to find true love and friendship.
Aww...Disney villains are just misunderstood! They’re fed up with being left out or tired of chasing love and friendship and getting nowhere! So, we’re here to tell them that Valentine’s Day might not be for them, but that they can embrace Singles Awareness Day (2/15) instead. They’re better off on their own anyway. You do you, guys!
Let’s check out the Disney villains who are the most excited about Singles Awareness Day!
1) Crazy Dog Lady: Cruella de Vil
The villain from Disney’s One Hundred and One Dalmatians, Cruella de Vil, may be one of the worst villains out there. She may not have magical powers to guarantee her villainy goes off without a hitch (her brand of evil is just the “normal” crazy kind), but she hates puppies which is the ultimate evil in our book.
Still though, we can’t help but wonder if Cruella has been misunderstood all these years. Maybe she’s lonely and instead of going the “Crazy Cat Lady” route she just took it to a new extreme and went the “Crazy Dog Lady” path (with an emphasis on the crazy part). She may have missed the boat on friendship and love, but she really embraced that whole “treat yo’ self” mantra. She really wanted that coat and — although she visited Crazy Town to get it — we think her ultimate focus of making herself happy is a noble one.
2) Isn’t He Dreamy: Gaston
Beauty in the Beast’s Gaston is the real beast in the Disney love story. He was so in love with love — aka obsessed with Belle — that he never considered if they were well-suited for each other or if he might be coming on just a little too strong. A surprise wedding maybe wasn’t the best way to win Belle’s heart. Who knew?
We may not like Gaston, but he could have turned out to be a better guy if he’d just stopped trying to get the girl! Gaston should have spent more time focusing on himself and stopped trying to find all his happiness in someone else. Also, if he took a good look around maybe he’d realize that he has the ultimate best friend and partner, LeFou, anyway! Who needs love when you have a best friend who sings your praises (literally)? If he hadn’t been so consumed by Belle, maybe he’d have been enjoying brunch with friends (eating five dozen eggs) or grabbing a drink with LeFou at the tavern instead of falling off the castle roof... You don’t need a girl to be happy, Gaston!
3) She Took Matters Into Her Own Tentacles: Ursula
The Little Mermaid’s villain, Ursula, is by far the coolest Sea Witch under the sea. We know she’s a bit of a grouch and she may not always have people’s best interests at heart, but she’s really just tired of being snubbed by everyone in the kingdom. She only sets her evil plan in motion after she sees Ariel heading to the palace for a party that she herself was not invited to. Ursula fondly recalls celebrations and feasts that she’d been invited to before King Triton banished her.
However, instead of focusing her energy on other people, she should have set her sights on herself. She’s one powerful lady after all. Plus, she could have appreciated her two eels Flotsam and Jetsam a little more or tried putting those uh... lovely gardening skills to better use. She could have had a delicious vegetable garden (one that wasn’t filled with poor unfortunate souls) and then thrown her own party with tasty snacks or something! Triton’s party would have had nothing on Ursula’s. The seaweed isn’t always greener on the other side.
4) Things Aren’t Always What They Seem: Jafar
Jafar in Aladdin is delightfully evil, down to his twirly beard and all. Okay, we know that he’s awful and willing to do anything to get ultimate power — even murdering the Sultan or bewitching Jasmine to fall in love with him — but when it comes down to it, we feel bad for the guy! He’s so consumed with being respected and having power that he doesn’t even realize how good he’s got it! He has a great job, a cool magic hobby, and he’s even got a great best friend in Iago. Those two are like two evil peas in a pod!
Maybe Jafar is just tired of being overlooked and underappreciated at work though. If he stopped caring what other people thought, then he may have avoided spending an existence in eternal servitude as a genie. Thankfully, though, now Jafar and Iago get to live out an eternity together as roommates in a magic bottle in the Cave of Wonders! I’m sure they’re stoked. They’d probably be thrilled to celebrate Singles Awareness Day this year because some alone time is hard to come by when you’re cramped in magic bottle together...
5) Stand Back, You Fools: Maleficent
Disney’s Sleeping Beauty introduced audiences to one of the most infamous villains of all time, Maleficent! She may be the mistress of all evil, but don’t be fooled by her tough exterior because she can still have her feelings hurt too. Poor Maleficent desperately wanted an invitation to Princess Aurora’s christening and admits, “I really felt quite distressed at not receiving an invitation.” This is after she walks in on the party. Awkward.
She may sound stoic, but you can bet she was totally ugly crying before she showed up at the party. We think her grumpy attitude (and that pesky curse) are just a reaction to her frustration at being left out. Fauna, Flora, and Merryweather should realize it’s hard (and just a little bit lonely) to be a fairy in a human’s world. Maybe they need to start inviting Maleficent to the girls’ night out!
So, just know that you aren’t alone if you don’t like Valentine’s Day. You’re in good company! Or well, evil company? Uh, but that isn’t a bad thing! We promise. The villains are always the most interesting characters in the story anyway.
It’s time that the Disney villains embrace who they are and appreciate all of their villainy quirks! They won’t be sad about Valentine’s Day this year because they have their sights set on Singles Awareness Day and a fun Fifth Sun Disney Villain tee instead!